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A Call For Humor!
- Thread starter Tks
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MattHooper
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More like the behaviour of much of the do-your-own-research public and contrarian alt-facts influencers, frankly.
ta240
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A clear sign that ChatGPT has seen what is on TV.
KellenVancouver
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KellenVancouver
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KellenVancouver
Major Contributor
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Lol... When I was younger I shared a rental house with 3 other people. One of the guys took in a lost affectionate pitbull for 2 weeks and nobody even knew we had a dog in the house.
I think in Canada they just have you blow into a breathalyzer rather than doing those silly tests which are very subjective.
Pffft... The one and only copper in my life that stopped me and attempted charging me with impaired. I got off work, went to the pub for a fast small beer and I was in there for maybe 3 minutes. I guzzled the small beer. Got in my car and drove about 90 seconds to my home. The copper stopped me there and arrested me and took me to the station and held me for 45 minutes before making me blow. I blew a tiny bit over. So I got a lawyer, he got a doctor to state that when I was pulled over I was not impaired. I got off. The copper was reprimanded for delaying the breathalyzer blow and scheming to get me to blow impaired.
An incredible rags to riches story:
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walked to the corner for a shoe shine. He sat in an armchair, examined the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffed his shoes to a mirror shine. One morning the shoe shiner asked the CEO, "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?" The man answered rudely, "Why are you so interested in that topic?" The shoe shine guy replied, "I have millions in your bank," he said, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market." "What's your name?" asked the executive. Ray T. Johnson, was the reply. The CEO arrived back the bank and asked the Manager of the Customer Service Department, "Do we have a client named Ray T. Johnson?" "Certainly," answered the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account." The executive came out, approached the shoe shiner, and said, "Mr. Johnson, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience." At the board meeting, the CEO introduced him to the board members. We all know Mr. Johnson, from the corner shoe shine stand, but Mr. Johnson is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him. Mr. Johnson began his story. "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Africa with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Johnson. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at a great place.Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars.”
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walked to the corner for a shoe shine. He sat in an armchair, examined the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffed his shoes to a mirror shine. One morning the shoe shiner asked the CEO, "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?" The man answered rudely, "Why are you so interested in that topic?" The shoe shine guy replied, "I have millions in your bank," he said, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market." "What's your name?" asked the executive. Ray T. Johnson, was the reply. The CEO arrived back the bank and asked the Manager of the Customer Service Department, "Do we have a client named Ray T. Johnson?" "Certainly," answered the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account." The executive came out, approached the shoe shiner, and said, "Mr. Johnson, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience." At the board meeting, the CEO introduced him to the board members. We all know Mr. Johnson, from the corner shoe shine stand, but Mr. Johnson is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him. Mr. Johnson began his story. "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Africa with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Johnson. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at a great place.Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars.”
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