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A Call For Humor!
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bloodshoteyed
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bloodshoteyed
Major Contributor
bloodshoteyed
Major Contributor
The Best!
I was looking for fountains ... Now I'm wondering about the SINAD.
mhardy6647
Grand Contributor
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
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Bass technology and fountains makes me think of... well... bass
Told this Joke years ago.
I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps.
He gave me a blank stair.A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog Poo on my carpet and said, "Mamm, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."
I said, "I hope you're hungry .... 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."
What does speedy gonzalas put beneath his carpets?
Underlay! Underlay!
An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian carpets. She looks around, spots a beautiful carpet, and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends to feel the texture of the carpet she farts loudly.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed.
Standing behind her is a saleswoman.
-----"Good day, ma'am, how may I help you today?"
Flustered, she asks, "Yes, uh, how much does this carpet cost?"
"If you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."
After a long and drawn out divorce, Amber asks Johnny why he was taking the broken vacuum cleaner.
Johnny replies: Because when I turn it on? It reminds me of you...
My wife phoned me in a panic. She said, "How do you get wine out of the carpet?!"
"No idea," I replied. "I usually get mine out of the fridge."
o
"What's the difference between me and a carpet?"
A carpet will get laid.
Shaking a carpet
I was walking down the road when I saw my friend standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
Recently my rug got destroyed due to multiple explosions.
Attachments
Told this Joke years ago.
I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps.
He gave me a blank stair.
A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog Poo on my carpet and said, "Mamm, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."
I said, "I hope you're hungry .... 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."
What does speedy gonzalas put beneath his carpets?
Underlay! Underlay!
An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian carpets. She looks around, spots a beautiful carpet, and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends to feel the texture of the carpet she farts loudly.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed.
Standing behind her is a saleswoman.
-----"Good day, ma'am, how may I help you today?"
Flustered, she asks, "Yes, uh, how much does this carpet cost?"
"Madam," she answers,
"If you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."
After a long and drawn out divorce, Amber asks Johnny why he was taking the broken vacuum cleaner.
Johnny replies: Because when I turn it on? It reminds me of you...
My wife phoned me in a panic. She said, "How do you get wine out of the carpet?!"
"No idea," I replied. "I usually get mine out of the fridge."
ooo
"What's the difference between me and a carpet?"
A carpet will get laid.
Shaking a carpet
I was walking down the road when I saw my friend standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"
Recently my rug got destroyed due to multiple explosions.
I guess you could call it a carpet bombing.
digicidal
Major Contributor
digicidal
Major Contributor
digicidal
Major Contributor
digicidal
Major Contributor
