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Scared cat question. I want to sort it while he's still young.

chrisjordan9

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Wiley, my little man, is 5 and a half months old. He's a regular kitten most of the time, but when someone new (or not so new) comes into the house, he instantly hides until they go. It occurs virtually every time.

I was wondering if there was anything I could do to ease him into meeting new people. Or, at the very least, to feel at ease while meeting new people.

Any assistance or suggestions would be much appreciated.
 

Sashoir

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Wiley, my little man, is 5 and a half months old. He's a regular kitten most of the time, but when someone new (or not so new) comes into the house, he instantly hides until they go. It occurs virtually every time.

I was wondering if there was anything I could do to ease him into meeting new people. Or, at the very least, to feel at ease while meeting new people.

Any assistance or suggestions would be much appreciated.
I don't really know what I'm talking about here, but I'm repeating the advice of someone who (I think) does. Cats, in unfamiliar situations, find having inaccessible hiding spaces, vantage points, and escape paths calming. Unlike dogs, nearness to their master or mistress is not comforting in these situations. So our dog sticks to us like white on rice, whereas our cat hides in the bookshelf next to the curtain (so he's also partially obscured by the drapery). We affect not to notice him (the cat); to allow him to think he's invisible, effectively. If our guests play along, he'll usually venture down in half an hour if he's feeling intrepid, an hour and a half of he's not.
Also, if he's startled by noises (both our cat and dog were), then your stereo can be your friend: get a bunch of stock sound effects, make a playlist, and put it on shuffle a couple of times a day at gradually increasing volume (very gradually if he's particularly shy).
 

BDWoody

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My two cats are very different when it comes to new people. My old girl generally checks things out from a distance, occasionally approaching new people to test their cat skills. She doesn't suffer noise well, or people who reach too eagerly, but she doesn't hide. It's her house after all.

My 5 year old guy finds his darkest corner and generally waits for them to go. If he's feeling brave, he'll find one of his 'invisible' vantage points to see what's happening, but generally not.

If I can coax him out, he will meet new people, one at a time with me, close to his clear escape route. Main thing is they never feel cornered in strange situations.
 

audio2design

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Wiley, my little man, is 5 and a half months old. He's a regular kitten most of the time, but when someone new (or not so new) comes into the house, he instantly hides until they go. It occurs virtually every time.

I was wondering if there was anything I could do to ease him into meeting new people. Or, at the very least, to feel at ease while meeting new people.

Any assistance or suggestions would be much appreciated.

Treats. Have visitors give out treats.
 

JayGilb

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Work out a scenario with one of your friends and have the cat in your lap eating some treats when they walk in.
It may take a few sessions, but they may learn to eventually associate strangers with treats.

Or not, cause their cats.
 

USER

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To add to the good advice: I strongly recommend you play with your cat. A simple cat wand works well. The act of "hunting" (and being successful at the end) will go a long way to making him/her more confident. Playing before dinner also helps if possible.

Also tell your friends not to be loud when they enter your house. You'd be surprised how often this is the case.

I have even noticed that some cats respond better to people without shoes.
 
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Mart68

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I agree that play fighting with the cat is very important for bonding and building his confidence.

Otherwise you can't train a cat. You may think you are but the reality is that he is training you.
 

Spkrdctr

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As a cat whisperer, I have to agree with the treat idea. Have them if possible give them a few treats. But, if they are gone and hiding that is not possible. As recommended, have them come in quietly do not have them come in making loud or elevated voices. That scares an already skittish cat. If you play with the cat always make sure it is a safe toy and make sure as it gets torn up they do not swallow anything from the toy. Do not ever wrestle with the cat with your hands! This will create a life long habit of biting and scratching at hands (playing in their mind) when they are too big to do it.
As a small kitten it is normal that he hides from strangers. He knows he is just a baby. Hiding is his specialty. Also, whenever ANYONE comes in quietly DO NOT let them pet the cat. They need to ignore the cat. An ignored cat is a happy cat in your situation, then as he gets older he might venture out and lay around but STILL no petting by strangers. Then if he gets up the nerve to give them a sniff in a year? they can gently pet him with very LIGHT pressure. Cats are not dogs and are FAR more sensitive to petting pressure. They will accept pressure if they are used to it, but they prefer a very light touch in petting.

Bottom line is that your cat is 100% normal and if you are careful he might get better at meeting strangers. Remember the loud animated voices are a huge problem if you have that going on. But at the end of the day, he might not ever want to see visitors. But he might get to the point where he stays out and ignores them if they ignore him. With cats they will do whatever they want to do. You get what you get but many times they do change as they get older.

Here is another interesting fact. Ever wonder why a cat ALWAYS goes to the person who doesn't like cats? They do that because that person is not trying to pet them or reaching out towards them or God forbid the big sin of trying to pick him up. The cat lovers are all trying to touch and pet a cat who sees that as threatening. They know if you pick them up, you have them and can easily make them your next meal. Cats are much smarter than we usually give them credit for! Good Luck. Oh and as he gets older you will be trained in how to be a proper slave, especially in getting food quickly when demanded by your plantation master! :)
 

daftcombo

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What about removing all the cat's hiding spots, so he will be forced to stay with the people and see that nothing bad happens? You could ask your friends to give him some food.
 

Neddy

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As a cat whisperer, I have to agree with the treat idea. Have them if possible give them a few treats. But, if they are gone and hiding that is not possible. As recommended, have them come in quietly do not have them come in making loud or elevated voices. :)

Good advice. I have a 4 yr old feral I captured at age 2.
He is so strongly bonded to me that strangers in the house just freak him out (and, I just had a BB surgically removed from his side from his 'free' days, so... understandable?).
He has gone from 'running away and hiding', to 'running to the fartherst corner of the floor/room', to 'runs to his favorite spot in the cat tree'....and gets better from there: Loud noisy kids (lets pet the kitty!) he just runs from, Loud people he just hides in the tree from, quiet folks not obsessed with 'seeing the wild cat' he will usually come out and wander by to check out...but that's about it.

I try to have as many quiet folks over as possible to encourage him...but, while I'd like him to be 'less panicked' with visitors, the fact is that his 'run away and hide' behavior kept him alive in a neighborhood with coyotes, eagles, foxes, dogs and other feral cats for his first two years, and he knows he's safe safe safe here, so it's all good.
PS. Cats DO learn and change behaviors - this one has picked up distinct behaviors from the other cat in the house.
Good luck!
 

Spkrdctr

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PS. Cats DO learn and change behaviors - this one has picked up distinct behaviors from the other cat in the house.
Good luck!
So, you admit that you are now a happy slave? That cat won the lotto when he got you. Safe from the worlds dangers and food. That is a happy cat!
 

BDWoody

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What about removing all the cat's hiding spots, so he will be forced to stay with the people and see that nothing bad happens? You could ask your friends to give him some food.

I'd say that's a good recipe for a trip to the doc for a shot of antibiotics... A cat bite is no joke, and can lead to very nasty infections.

A cat that feels he has no place to escape or hide can get scary quick. That may condition them to be fearful more than relaxed.
 

Mart68

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So, you admit that you are now a happy slave? That cat won the lotto when he got you. Safe from the worlds dangers and food. That is a happy cat!
My cat liked to be served breakfast when he retuned from his dawn patrol at about 0530. He would just slap me about the face until I got up and fed him. I once decided to ignore him and see how long it would be before he gave up. After half an hour of it I concluded that he would never give up. So after that he always got his 0530 feed. It's a battle of wills that you can't win.

If he was not happy with arrangements he would snort (I mistook this for sneezing initially). If he was very happy he would make a sort of 'Woo woo' noise. Otherwise he did not vocalise at all. No meowing. If he wanted something he would slap me about the face.

One thing worth remembering is that although they do not speak English all cats understand it. Even cats in foreign countries. Spelling out words will not work like with a dog. The cat is always listening even when it appears to be sleeping.
 

BDWoody

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He would just slap me about the face until I got up and fed him.

When it's time for me to be awakened, my cat likes to tap my eyelid. If I roll over or try to ignore him, he will search for any exposed skin and gently run a single claw down said skin until he gets the desired result. The area by my armpit where the sheet is typically tucked is his standard go-to if the eyes aren't easily accessible.

Sometimes it's more amusing than others.
 

Mart68

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When it's time for me to be awakened, my cat likes to tap my eyelid. If I roll over or try to ignore him, he will search for any exposed skin and gently run a single claw down said skin until he gets the desired result. The area by my armpit where the sheet is typically tucked is his standard go-to if the eyes aren't easily accessible.

Sometimes it's more amusing than others.
They're beggars arn't they?

I accidentally locked him out one time. I'm sat watching TV and hear a noise like someone is breaking down the back door. I run around and it's just the cat there, mightily pissed off.

He was a big cat but I've no idea how he was able to make that noise. It really sounded like someone was pounding on the door with a baseball bat.
 

Mart68

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Reminds me the people across the road used to have a cat that would ring the doorbell when he wanted to come in.
 

BinkieHuckerback

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My three cats are way older and flee every time there's someone new. Seems like common sense on their part.
 
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